Getting divorced with children involved is often a very contentious process. It is natural that emotions will run high, and many of these may be negative emotions about your ex-spouse. However, it is the job of the family court to keep the best interest of the children in mind. Due to this, the most common custody arrangement post-divorce is co-parenting. However, if you are upset with your ex-spouse, you may be looking to gain sole custody of your children. According to FindLaw, seeking sole custody is very difficult and is not likely to be granted without exceptional circumstances involved.
In the past, it was almost universally assumed that after a divorce any children would be in the custody of the mother. However, modern research on the subject has found that children thrive when they are raised by both of their biological parents, even if the parents are divorced. Thus, a co-parenting situation is not about you, but rather your children.
Of course, there are some exceptional circumstances where sole custody may be the best option for everybody involved. These circumstances involve acts like domestic violence or alcohol or drug addiction. If one parent is involved in these acts, then it will render them unfit for raising children. In this instance, the other parent will generally be granted both sole legal and physical custody. However, the non-custodial parent may still be eligible for visitation.
Child custody is determined by what is in the best interest of the children. Even if you have hard feelings toward your ex-spouse, it is important to try and put those feelings aside to create a comprehensive co-parenting plan if this is what the court decrees.