Your friends have been there for you though everything. Even the ones who you recently reconnected with you have “liked” your pictures at Disney World and given the appropriate sad comments when your dog died.
With how much you’ve shared with them through social media, it almost seems rude not to share this next stage of your life with them on social media. But sharing about your divorce on social media, especially when it’s still in progress, may not be such a great idea.
Here’s what you should think about before sharing about your divorce on social media.
The effect on your children
Not only are you friends with all your old college friends, you’ve also added some parent friends there too. Social media can be a great tool for arranging playdates and sharing pictures.
But word travels fast. When you share what’s going on in your marriage with your friends on social media, it can go from your parent-friends to their kids in no time. Then, by the time those kids talk to your kids, you start to lose the influence you have over how your children will perceive your divorce.
Divorce might be a very positive solution to the problems you and your spouse are facing. And you were prepared to help your children see it the same way. But once your child’s friends start to affect that opinion, it can be a difficult conversation to control.
Your spouse may have done terrible things. Your spouse might even be saying things about you and the divorce on social media. But that doesn’t mean that you should do the same.
Sharing your divorce, especially while it is in progress will bring in a whole host of opinions from people who didn’t even have an opinion about the Disney World pictures. You may find that, suddenly, you have more friends who are aspiring marriage counselors than you thought!
You already know what you need to do for yourself and for your family. The extra opinions aren’t going to help the situation. Even your friends who are going to be supportive may not show their support in ways that would be good to have displayed on social media for everyone (including the court) to see.
Most of all, it’s important to know that your social media posts can be used in court. Your posts can likely even be used in court if you have adjusted your privacy settings. All it takes is one friend who tells another friend who takes a screenshot, and then the post is out of your control.
Even if you aren’t doing anything wrong, a poorly timed post can still be presented to put you in a bad light. Keep in mind that a post that isn’t online is a post you never have to justify or defend.
The best practice is not to share anything about your divorce online. Especially while it is in progress. But that doesn’t mean that it’s something that you should try to go through alone. You still should look for support from your friends and family.
Rather than putting everything on social media, select a few close friends and family members, ones you know will be supportive, and make a phone call. The more personal connection will be more helpful as you mentally process your divorce, and it doesn’t leave a trail of posts that have been made public on the internet.